Personal Literacy: Understanding Double-talk

On this site, we try to avoid words that might cause a negative reaction—or what many people now call triggers. That may sound simple, but it’s not. Words carry more than definitions. They carry histories, expectations, judgments, and emotions. Even a well-meaning phrase can land the wrong way depending on someone’s past.

You might think of it like this:
Some words have two meanings—one on the surface and another just under it. That second meaning can echo with old pain, especially for people who have faced manipulation, exclusion, or trauma.

For example, a word like “submit” may seem neutral in one context (like submitting a form), but in another, it can feel like a demand to give up your voice. A phrase like “no excuses” might sound motivating to some, but to others, it can feel like shame in disguise.

Once you start noticing this kind of language, it’s everywhere. Even encouragements like “You’ve got this!”—which we do sometimes use—can feel dismissive if they’re not offered gently or if someone is struggling deeply.

That’s why we go slowly.
We don’t aim for perfection. We aim for care.
We want words that support, not control. Words that invite, not push.

If you ever come across something on this site that doesn’t feel quite right, it’s okay to pause, take a breath, and move past it. Healing doesn’t happen on command. But when the tone is right, the words we use can help create a space where learning feels safe again.

P.S. If you ever feel unsettled by something on this site, feel free to email me—or, if you'd rather, write an (unsigned) letter or drop a note anonymously.